Prologue

At the backend of last year Netti hinted that Harry would like to go to the Download Festival since one of his favourite bands were playing. I had a quick squizz at the lineup and, to me, it looked like it would be a good one to go to. Now, in the reasonable distant past we have managed to get a camper van pass but over the years these have sold out within hours of being released which meant that if we did decide to go we would be in a tent. I vividly remember my first ever Download experience with Bozzie and Jim. We were sharing a tent, pitched in one of the main campsites and I was sleeping closer to the bloke in the next tent than I was to them. We had also picked a spot close to the main drag through the campsite which; thanks to the inevitable rain; became a ever widening mudslide and by the end of the weekend it had expanded up to the door of our tent. Fortunately over the last few years the situation has changed a little and there is now a Quiet campsite incorporating the Mini-Moshers for young families. We opted for the Quiet campsite hoping that we’d be able to avoid the rowdiness of the main sites. Plus at 69 years old I didn’t fancy being surrounded by a horde of drinking, bonking and puking 20-30 somethings whilst trying to get some shuteye. 

Christmas came and went, the New Year rung in and the intervening months passed in a blur As the days ticked by I started my lists. Camping equipment needed replacing since we got rid of a lot some time ago. Then I decided we needed proper beds, I can’t cope with getting up off of airbeds any more. Bozzie phoned to let us know about some self inflating sleeping mats for £12 in the middle aisle at Aldi so off we rushed to our local store and snagged two of the last three in stock. It was meant to be! We also found we needed a new camping kettle since Paul had left the old one in the camper we’ve just swapped. We also bought a trolley for hauling all our stuff from the car to the campsite.

Once the camping stuff was sorted I turned my attention to what I was taking to wear. Now, Download being Download the weather could be anything from freezing torrential rain with or without howling gales or a blazing heatwave worthy of the saharan desert at high noon. I decided on a layered wardrobe; outfits I could adapt to any weather and which could be worn with my Doc Marten’s, wellies or a pair of Crocs (essential for the first thing/last thing trip to the loo); which would fit into my backpack.

Wednesday

Before we knew it Download time was upon us and I must admit, I was feeling a little nervous about getting there and having to haul everything to the campsite then setting up with only Harry to help. I could only hope he turned out to be useful when it came to putting the tent up. Paul had started packing the car up the day before and although she was packed to the gunwales I was still able to squeeze more in before I left to pick Harry up from college as he was sitting his Maths GCSE that morning. Paul was quite impressed with the amount we could get in “Betty Beep”!  As bad luck would have it for Bozzie and Jim they had to drive all the way to ours first to drop Priest off since he couldn’t stay in kennels because his vaccinations were out of date so we weren’t going to be that far behind them as it happened.

I estimated we were about an hour behind Bozzie as Harry and I set off from Doncaster. We made excellent time until we hit the traffic jam just after the exit for Derby. Only in England can the Highways Agency decide to close two lanes of a busy motorway between the junctions being used by festival traffic for the whole festival weekend! Once off the motorway, to avoid the tailback past the airport I followed the recommended route which took me through Castle Doninton to approach the site from the opposite direction with only a slight tailback once we were close to where we wanted to be. We were soon parking up, about four cars down from Bozzie and Jim who had arrived about ten minutes before us. Out came the trolley which was packed up with the tent, beds and bed rolls. We carried backpacks which contained our clothes. My idea was to have to do as few runs as possible. We hauled our trolley up the hill to the main track and headed off towards the entrance to the campsites. And what a bloody haul it was. We passed through the entrance with no problems and got our wrist bands. And then we espied the route to the Quiet campsite; up a long steep incline. This was a baptism of fire for Harry; not one who likes hard graft but give him his due, he might have done a lot of moaning but he got on with it. With him pulling and me pushing and several breathers we slowly made it to the top where it levelled out past the Mini-Moshers taking us to our next challenge. The Quiet campsite was on a steeply sloping field and any levelish pitches near the top had already been claimed. We made our way to the bottom of the hill where it seemed to level out into a more gentle slope, found a suitable pog and started to set up camp. We had just got the tent out when the heavens opened; well I suppose it was Download weekend; so we had to put the tent up in the pouring rain. First off the pole ends were rusty and wouldn’t slide through the sleeves, then I couldn’t get the pins into the poles on one side so the whole thing looked wonky and finally, my fingers were so wet and cold I couldn’t untangle the guy ropes. And poor old Harry was precious little help since he’s neither had to put a tent up before nor seen me in full frustration mode, mainly with myself, but after a lot of shouting and swearing we eventually got the thing properly erected and piled everything inside. I decided to set up the beds and start the mattresses inflating before we trudged back to the car for another load. By the time we were done the rain had stopped.

At this point I could feel a blister forming on my right heel so I really had to take my Docs off. Bugger! It had already formed and burst and now my sock was stuck to a raw patch the size of a 10p piece. Thank goodness I had put my Crocs in.

After we had eaten we met up with Bozzie, Jim and the boys for a stroll round The Village aka District X. It’s amazing how a place or event can make you feel like you’re where you are meant to be. Ever since my first time Download has had that effect on me. I hadn’t realised how much I had missed it. We had a good look round the stalls where I treated Myles and Alec to a hat apiece from the military store and just missed the Merch Megastore by a few minutes so it was back to the tents as we were all absolutely shattered and defo ready for bed.

Thursday

I woke up around 7.30am, slipped my Crocs on, wrapped myself in my honcho; bought at my first ever Download; and made my way up “that f***ing hill” to the toilets. Bloody ‘heck, they were spotless! Mind you, we were only on day two. On the way back I decided to buy myself a coffee and asked for a cup of hot water for my porridge. Back at the tent Harry was still snoring away so I had my brekkie before crawling back into my pit and catching another hour. By the time I was up again it had started to rain so I sparked up the Lotus Grill inside the tent which did a fantastic job boiling the kettle. Whilst I was sipping my coffee and waiting for Harry to get ready I noticed that we had a few leaks and there were a couple of tears in the roof. I had visions of everything getting wet or the tent ripping apart in the wind and having to pack up and go home before the weekend had started.

It was defo a wet weather gear and wellies day for which my feet were thankful. We wrapped ourselves up and made our way to District X where we stood queuing in the rain for four hours to get into the megastore! I managed to spend some serious money on Download treats for which I was reprimanded by Paul. As in, “What the **** have you spent all that on? You’ve only been there a day!” I also managed to lose Harry, although he says I looked right at him at one point. It didn’t help that my phone reception was shite either as I couldn’t text or phone him at that point. Everyone else seemed to be OK but then, I’m with O2 who are bloody awful. Finally found Harry and started back to the tent. We didn’t get very far since the way was blocked by several tractors trying to put sawdust down over the ankle deep mud so we decided to go get something to eat until they’d done. We eventually got back to the tent; it was still standing and dry inside; dumped our stuff and headed back to District X to watch, well, listen to, Five. They were good, glad I made the effort. Quite looking forward to 90s Fest now. 

Friday

I had a slow start the next morning, sparking up the Lotus and having coffee and toast. Harry was up and off to meet his friends despite not waking up until 10am. And, believe it or not, the rain had dried up and the sun had made an appearance and it was hot. Sundress it was then. I almost succumbed to wearing my Crocs to the arena but with my Compeed securely in place on my right heel I squeezed my feet back into my Docs, armed myself with a couple of cans and took a slow walk to the arena where I met up with Bozzie, Jim and the boys and managed to catch most of the P.O.D set. We stayed around the main stage and enjoyed Hollywood Undead and Creeper; a new find for me; before trooping to the second stage for Halestorm. To be fair they weren’t as good as I remembered. Then back to the main stage for Limp Bizkit. I was not particularly impressed with them; a wheezy 60 year old lumbering around the stage turning the whole shebang into a giant karaoke was not my idea of fun. I did record on song for Joey and Josh whilst Bozzie FaceTimed Shawna so Josh could hear it in real time. We did find out later that the road crew member they paid tribute to at the beginning of the set had died in an accident on the motorway on his way to Download so fair play to them, they could have just pulled out but they didn’t and it goes a long way to explaining the less than perfect performance. The rest of us wandered into the Dogtooth stage to watch Cavallera who were good. I must search them out on Spotify. The night was cut a tad short at this point when Tom informed us that Harry had been dropped on his head whilst crowd surfing although he had subsequently decided to stay in the mosh pit. Not for long though as he was back at the tent before we left the arena. He has since said he doesn’t think he’ll do  the mosh pit again. 

Saturday

I had a surprisingly good sleep despite waking up a couple of times to turn over, which was not easy in my sleeping bag. I sat outside in the sun waiting for the kettle to boil and making toast whilst Harry got dressed and headed off to District X to swap his phone charger before going to the arena. I had my brekkie and pottered about the tent until lunchtime by which time it was really hot. Compeed on both heels now and wearing very loosely laced Docs I took a slow walk up to the arena to join Harry. Stopped off to swap my phone charger and called in at the Co-op for our bargain meal deals on my way through District X. 

I managed to get hold of Harry and we settled ourselves down for the afternoon. We enjoyed Black Veil Brides, I remember seeing them the first time they played Download, followed by Baby Metal; not overly keen; and Trivium. I was enjoying the bands so much I forgot to take photos so not many from that afternoon. Later we met up with the Lemins to watch Guns and Roses! Well what can I say? Whilst I agree that Axl Rose’s voice has lost it’s punch; well, the guy is 64; in my humble opinion Slash and Duff McKagan have always been the backbone of the band so I don’t care what all the naysayers think, they put on an awesome 2½ hour show. Once again Bozzie did the FaceTiming, this time to Suzy who is and always has been a big G’n’R fan. In fact, on the way back through District X we stopped at the Merch Stand and I bought her a T- Shirt, it was the least I could do. 

On our way back to the campsite Jim asked Harry if he wanted to stay out to watch another band performing in District X. His answer was obvious so, against my better judgement, I allowed him to stay out carousing with Jim and Tom. Which resulted in Jim falling over and bashing his head in. He’s going to have a doozy of a scar on his forehead. To be fair, Harry was very quiet coming in at 3am.

Sunday

Another scorcher. I was up quite early, mainly cos I needed a pee. I sparked up the Lotus for the last time and sat munching my toast and sipping my coffee before trying to wake Harry. He is not a morning person. But then, neither am I so not a good combination when you factor in the 3am bedtime. I wanted to take all the stuff we didn’t need that day or the next morning, such as our dirty clothes and unused Pot Noodles, back to the car so I could relax and enjoy the rest of my day and as he had told me his first band wasn’t playing until 5pm I figured we had plenty of time to get a couple of runs done before heading to the arena. We packed up the trolley and set off on the first run, Harry pulling and me pushing it up “that f***ing hill” on our way to the car. Seems quite a few were packing up that morning as there was a regular motorway of trollies rumbling back and forth. We were about halfway up the final hill when we had to stop for a rest. To be fair, Harry had done exceptionally well pulling the trolley to that point so I was going to take over. All I did was ask him to push it up the last few yards and it was all level or downhill from there. I don’t remember what his reply was but I ended up setting off in a strop. My mood was not helped by the fact that my watch was dead and my phone was rapidly running out of charge. I got to the the car, stuffed everything in the boot and headed back. I was still in a strop as I sailed past him and trundled all the way back to the tent, muttering as I went. I was packing the next load in when he point blank refused to do another run. “So be it” I hissed “I’ll do it myself!” Which I did as he threw a tantrum stormed off in a huff. My fitness level must have improved over the week since I found it much easier to negotiate the inclines than I had at the beginning of the week. It took me an hour to get there and back but I bloody made it. Back at the tent I found Harry had stormed off to the arena. I cleaned myself up, had a can and got myself ready. I called off to exchange my phone charger for the last time and immediately connected my watch before calling in at the Co-op for what was left of the meal deals and answering a call from Paul asking why Harry was demanding he send some money for his lunch. I explained that Harry had bought mine the day before so I owed it him but not to worry. I finally got a message from Harry and we arranged to meet at the now infamous ferris wheel.

We apologised to each other, found ourselves a nice little pog and proceeded to enjoy the rest of our day listening to The Pretty Reckless and Ice Nine Kills; Harry’s favourite and the reason we went to Download; before mooching off to find food.

After amusing Harry and tiring myself out at the mini rave we rejoined Bozzie for Linkin Park, who were good and the new female singer does work. Although I wish we had been a bit further back. I no longer feel I have to be in the thick of it and Harry says he prefers being out of the crush. It was all a bit too peoply.

For some reason Bozzie wanted to take a photo of Harry on some mini roundabout she’d found on the way back to the campsite so off we went to said roundabout. Photos taken we parted ways and Harry and I headed back to the campsite whilst she went to find Jim. since we were now way over the other side of the arena entrance we managed to exit through the wrong gate! Which I realised when we were approaching a small tunnel we’d never been through. So now we had to turn around and swim against the crowd and run the gauntlet of stroppy security guys to get back into the arena and over to the correct gate. 

Monday

After a complete lack of sleep I was up and off for a pee at 6.30. I tried really hard to get another couple of hours but couldn’t settle. In the end I gave up and was packing my bed away by 7.30. I decided to leave Harry asleep until I’d done. 

He was very grumpy as I tried to wake him but he did eventually comply. We were packed up and heading off on our last drag up “that f***ing hill”  by 9.30 with Harry pulling the trolley all the way. It’s amazing what the promise of a MacBrekkie can do. Although we were way too late for the brekkie. We packed up the car, I swapped my Crocs for my Docs and we joined the line of cars queuing to get out of the car park where we moved all of one car length in 45 minutes. Then I spotted some cars hurtling down to the bottom of the field towards a moving line of traffic. “Oh, what the heck” I thought and decided to follow suit. We couldn’t be any worse off. By the time I got down there the cars I had seen were well on their way out and we were at least moving slowly forward rather than at a complete standstill. It took about 20 more minutes to get out and on the road. I have read that some folks were stuck for about three hours. Possibly because selfish, entitled buggers like me kept cutting the queue. 

Once on the way we made excellent time to the first services, where we had to queue to get into the car park since half of the  Download crowd seemed to have decamped to there. We did drop lucky as a car pulled out of a slot just in front of us. It turned out to be a Burger King and the burgers just hit the spot as did my first cup of coffee that day. Replenished we got back on the road and made it home just after 2pm where we found a welcoming committee; Wigglie Monday this week. 

Whist we were waiting for Bozzie to turn up; just out of curiosity mind you; I perused the tickets for next year and managed to snag a campervan pass. With Paul’s approval as well! So it looks like we’re doing it all over again.